One of my top mom goals is to help my son feel comfortable engaging with others. Childhood is full of newness — new classes, new friends, new activities — and I want him to know he can thrive in every situation.
Meeting new people and visiting friends and family can be intimidating, but it can also be FUN. Keep things low pressure, and reassure your child they can start a conversation (if they want to). Focus on the long game, and practice together with my family’s favorite questions!
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Practice Makes Better
Starting a conversation is a great skill for kids to acquire early and practice often. Take a step back and allow your child the opportunity to lead in a variety of settings — summer vacation, family reunion, Thanksgiving meal, weddings, and even funerals. Practice with support is critical for his or her confidence to bloom.
As your child gets older, there will be situations where he or she doesn’t know anyone and/or you aren’t present. A few tried-and-true conversation starters can help them adapt and thrive!
Be a Great Conversationalist
As your children hone their conversation skills, remind them to listen with intent. Great conversationalists listen more than they talk and adapt to what they hear. Help your child learn to be comfortable with pauses in conversation, including long breaks without speaking (which is common in group conversations).
Tip: Be patient with this part! Adults also struggle with listening, so make this an opportunity to practice with your child 🙂
What Do I Ask?
My strategy for preparing for social and work engagements centers around conversation starters for kids. My son chooses topics and we practice asking questions. I write notes on the questions he likes and his answers to take with us.
These are our favorites themes, topics, and questions that make for fun conversations!
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Activities & Hobbies
- Do you have a hobby or something you’re learning to do? Why did you choose [hobby or skill]?
- What is your favorite outdoor activity?
- Are you in any clubs or groups? What does your group/club do when you’re together?
- Do you or have you ever played an instrument?
Family & Personal History
- How did you meet [spouse or friend’s name]? What do you like most about him/her?
- What did you and [sibling or friend’s name] do for fun as kids? Do you still do those things?
- Will you tell me a funny story about [family member or friend]?
- How did you end up living in [city/state/country name]? Where else have you lived?
Favorites
- What is your favorite food or snack? Why is it your favorite?
- Who is your favorite character in [book, show, or movie]? What do you like about the character?
- What is your favorite game to play? Who do you like to play with?
- Do you have a favorite sport to watch or play?
- Have you ever seen [sport team] play in-person?
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Friends, School, & Work
- What is your most interesting subject/class? What makes it stand out from others?
- What is your favorite accomplishment this year?
- Do you have a best friend? What do you like about them? (I caution asking this if you do not know a child well. Every child has a unique experience with friends.)
- What is your dream job?
- What do you do for a job?
Travel
- What is the furthest you’ve ever been from home? How old were you when you went?
- Where is the hottest/coldest place you’ve ever been?
- Where do you want to travel/visit? What excites you about this place?
- What is the most unique or memorable food you’ve eaten when traveling
If you have tips and favorite conversation starters for kids, share them in the comments below.
